BLACK AND WHITE

Last night I got into a cab and had the most serendipitous conversation with the driver. Only a couple of weeks ago, I saw a post on Facebook that made me think. It was about how society is so hypocritical about down syndrome; people go and "like" to support those affected (not just the one diagnosed) but in reality, a startling 90% of DS pregnancies end in abortion.

My cabbie, Max, upon finding out I was from the Philippines told me he knew a Filipino family through his church. He then went on about how prior to 2012, he was a non-believer but it all changed upon his wife's second pregnancy. You see, the baby was prenatally diagnosed with DS. But they kept it, and upon the second test, the results were all normal.

Wow. I just found this story really amazing that I had to share it. What if they had terminated the pregnancy then and there the first time? What if the baby was born with down syndrome? It's one thing to be talking hypothetically with a friend but to actually hear it from someone who lived through it was just, wow. This is one of the ethical debate topics that have really put me in the grey. I understand where both sides are coming from and honestly, if it happened to me or someone I knew, I wouldn't know what to do or what advice to give other than think (and pray) hard then do whatever you think is right. I am personally against abortion in general but I am also aware of the difficulties it would cause to both the child and the family (and yes, I also know of the extreme joy a child brings). This is a dilemma I wish people didn't go through. But to those who did, I salute you and admire your strength. I hope your choice was based on the genuine good, and whatever it was, you are very brave.

It's easy to see things in black and white when you're standing from a distance. But sometimes, as you move closer, you see the edges are actually grey. You have to need to find the spot where you're not too involved in the situation but at the same time you're not so detached. Which sounds easy theoretically except when it's actually personal or you really don't care. That's why upon all the moral philosophies we tackled in college, I find Aristotle's golden mean the most useful. There are always two extremes in every situation so you have to aim for balance. You don't always get right smack center, sometimes you end up more inclined to one pole, but you aim anyway. We make judgement calls based on the amount of information we have, concrete or intuitive. We consider options and outcomes. Since a vast body of knowledge is readily available to us nowadays, views are now wider, and the black and white have turned into dark greys and light greys. Decisions got a bit more confusing, but it also got a bit more meaningful too.

xx

PS- I was a bit reluctant to write this coz I know some of you may think of this topic as black and white. I'm just saying that it's not so clearcut coz if it was, no one would ever consider the options. And considering options doesn't make you a bad person; it's ultimately what you do and why you do it.