NICE ONE, PAST REG.

{Reg, circa 2007}

Like I said here, I send my "future self" letters via futureme.org. I like the surprise factor when I check my mail, as compared to going through random insights via my old blogs (which I also do, hee). What my latest letter made me realize is that we don't really give our past selves the credit it deserves. We're where we are now because of the decisions we made in the past. As jologs as we were then (one of my oldest and bestest friends and I had a run-in with y!m the other night with matching backstab of past font and emoticon choices, hahaha), it was "them" that shaped the people who we are this very moment. It makes me wanna go back in time and give my past self a pat on the back for a job well done. I mean sure there are regrets, (hello En12 where I'd always cut coz "nothing ever happens" only to receive a D coz apparently they had graded work when I'm out, hassle) but like what dad-ism said: You made the best decision you could in the moment based on the information you had at that time. Things are much clearer in hindsight but we only see the difference when it's in hindsight. Ironic, huh? So we do what we have to do to get by in the present. Trust that your present self has been equipped by your past self's experience with enough wisdom to go through unknown territories and above all, recognize that there's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be. I might be optimisticizing things here, but I do firmly believe that everything that happens and doesn't happen has a purpose. And like the oldest sticky on my busted laptop: "Trust that everything is happening according to His will and timing. (Even if it sucks at the moment)" 

I know I have been a bit sappy and preachy about this topic lately but it's just when you're filled to the brim with a certain emotion/insight/realization, it just seeps out of you. Here's the backstory as quoted in a letter to my friends a month ago when I was still in limbo on whether or not to go through with Singapore (and I'll be the first to tell you that I'm far from being a pious Catholic... but I do have a pretty solid relationship with God): "I prayed for wisdom to realize which path I should take and the strength to embark on it. I trust that whatever will happen next is according to His plan. That as much as I willed it, it is ultimately Him who lets it. I have faith because I know that God knows no space and time, He sees everything and whatever He allows to happen has a purpose - a good purpose at that coz He wouldn't allow His children to live a miserable life (miserable moments maybe, but not a miserable life). So whatever happens next, I am certain that it happens coz of His blessing (not to say that I shouldn't do anything anymore, I just think that you do what you can do and God then lets things fall where they should) So yun, wala lang. I just felt so inspired that I had to send you guys a long message. Realizing this, parang a weight was lifted and I am at peace coz I know I have God on my side. I might not understand why certain things are at the moment, but I have faith that it's because it's what I need and that it has a purpose."

No it won't all go the way it should but I know the heart of life is good

--- and this was a month ago. I can't believe I forgot about this draft. Well not really, since it has been a somewhat conscious choice not to visit this side of the internet. But that's for next time. Visiting Manila on the weekend, can't wait!

xx
Reg
follow on: Bloglovin' | Facebook | Chictopia | Twitter | Tumblr | Lookbook