2 YEARS AGO: RAMBLING ABOUT THE ONE

Barcino, April 2017

A COUPLE GLASSES OF WINE, your best friend since forever, a girl friend who’s seen you during a very important life phase, and an ENFP kindred spirit who knows shit about you – all potent reminders of how life could’ve easily played out differently.

The truth is, it could’ve easily, EASILY, played out differently. Sleight of hand and twist of fate; U2 couldn’t have gotten it more right. Three different people to remind you that it could’ve easily played out differently. Maybe you could’ve been with the one who had absolutely no idea how much you love him. The one who you love with every cell of your being; but can’t imagine being with. Maybe you could’ve ended up with the one everyone adored, the one who you dismissed in passing because he was too cute.. until that one chance “kamusta?” in Xavier Hall. Maybe it could’ve been someone else, someone you have yet to meet. Maybe you were never supposed to break up. Maybe you were supposed to buy 7 Habits of Highly Effective People on your own (or not). Or maybe he was the one all along. 

It could’ve been any one. It could still be any one. It freaks me out how some people have found, and known without hesitation, the one. What if there’s no the one? But then how come people swear they know the one? Is it really the one? Do they know it in the deepest of their gut? Is there any way to prove it? 

Would I know the one if he was starring me in the face? I’ve often felt that, or maybe prematurely, that this is the one until it’s not. Can I be anyone’s the one? Would I want to be any one’s the one? Isn’t that too much pressure? To be everything, in the words of Rico Blanco, you wanted and more?  

Why are we putting so much pressure on the one? Why am I dwelling so much on this? Is it really that important given the fact that it could easily, EASILY, have been anyone? 

But isn’t that what makes it so special? It could’ve EASILY been anyone. But it wasn’t. And it didn’t. Doesn’t that just blow your mind?! It does mine. Or maybe it’s just the early stages of a hangover. Fuck the one. Let’s just have one more glass of wine.