I’M THIRTY!!! (FLIRTY AND THRIVING??)

SO THERE IT IS, THE BIG 3-0. One of my good friends, Arnold, said my hashtag should be #thirtyflirtyandthriving in honor of the movie 13 Going on 30. I laughed and said no way, coz a) CLICHE and b) THIRTY, yes. FLIRTY, always.But THRIVING? That’s the big question mark. There are days that I do feel like I’m thriving but then there are days that I’m happy to just be surviving. Like Rachel from Friends, I feel like there is so much that I still haven’t accomplished. And when you’re surrounded by successful thirty – even TWENTY something, flirty and thriving women, the more blatant it becomes that hey, I could actually have done more. There’s something about thirty that sounds so.. serious. Maybe #whygodwhy would be a better hashtag?

Now I know that to some people I sound like a complete joke, going on about my insecurities when I have so much to be thankful for and be proud about – and believe me, I am still very much thankful and most of the time, proud of my accomplishments. But there are still moments when I end up questioning everything (or more specifically, the value I bring to the table and my worth to mankind). It’s funny coz a day after I was stressing out about life and having anxiety almost take over, someone randomly messaged me about how lucky I am to be living the life I have been blessed with and compared it with how she had to struggle with hers. It came as a shock coz just the day before I was so focused on what was lacking. I ended up replying somewhere along the lines of everyone has their own challenges, but hang in there, coz these setbacks were placed for a higher purpose. Something I should also be telling myself.  I’ve always believed that having a moment to regroup does wonders – and I think this milestone is just another opportunity for me to do so. So there’s my answer to Why, God, Why!? These moments of so-called “weakness” are designed to ground us back and inspire us to push on.

So yeah, this birthday may not be big in the grand scale of things – not even the midpoint of my life (claiming a long and healthy life!) – but it’s a very blatant reminder in case I’ve been on autopilot and ignoring all signs to recalibrate. Plus! It’s big enough for my mom to throw me a surprise party on the eve of my 30th! Oh man, what a night. If that’s any foreshadowing of the decade to come then it means I’ll spend the next 10 years happily drunk. On alcohol, yes, but more than that, on life and love. 

My 30th was a reminder of how much loved I am by the people I love the most. And wow, what a feeling. It wasn’t just them being there that night (a WEDNESDAY night even), but being there all this time. I’m so happy to be going through life with my family and dearest friends. I also want to say THANK YOU to everyone who remembered me on my special day. I will always be grateful to have met each and every one of you because I believe that every single encounter, no matter how brief, has added a colourful thread in the tapestry that is my life. And with that, I present some colourful snaps from the night that was. 

I swear I tried cutting down the number of photos to upload. But I can’t. It’s too cute/heartwarming/FUNNY not to share. Haha! Besides, one of my goals this year is to optimise my website’s storage.  Speaking of goals, I’ve resolved to have clearer, more tangible goals this year. The first goal of which is to set clearer and tangible goals by this weekend. Haha! ANYWAY.

Ending this post with my forever birthday wish:
“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art— write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.”

Hear, hear, Jenna!