ON MIDDLES (A YEAR END POST)

ON THE LAST DAY OF 2018, I look back on the year that was with lyrics from Ariana Grande: “that shit’s amazing”. Exactly a year ago, I referred to 2017 as shit while it was happening, actually great when looking back. I guess this realization became a guide for me as I lived out 2018. As challenging as it still was, I viewed it with a bigger picture mentality (or at least I tried, haha) – making sure to take the sweet with the sour.

2018 was the year of being awed by God’s love and faithfulness at how the universe will always provide just what you need, when you need it. Not more, not less, just enough and at the nick of time. My favorite LA uber drive mentioned he read in a book (that is now currently mine) that when our body feels like it’s maxed out, you’re still actually on 40% so you can still push yourself more. 2018 was that 40%. You think it can’t be any more challenging, then it’ll throw you curveballs. You think it can’t get any better, then it exceeds your expectations. Of course as with anything, a cycle is still at play. One moment you’re on top, the next you’re at rock bottom. But you push through because you know for a fact that it is a cycle. There’ll be falls and heartbreaks and closing chapters but there will also be joy and hope and excitement for beginnings. And the middle. There will be middles that’ll seem too brief, too long – and those that you think is pointless but in hindsight makes so much sense. We always talk about beginnings and endings that the middle tends to get overlooked. But it is just as important, if not even more.

The middle is where you see yourself exceed your limits. The middle is what prepares you for the end, and what grounds you back to earth after the initial high of the beginning. It is tedious, it can get boring, and it can just take way too goddamn long. But it is necessary. It is what shapes the next chapter.. and the next.. and the one after it.. and basically the entire story that is your life. You’ll be tempted to take short cuts and opt for temporary solutions and instant gratifications instead of long term benefits. Sometimes you’ll even be tempted to throw in the towel. Let Stephen Covey’s principle be the beacon that guides you: >Begin with the end in mind. Wise chap probably knew that the middle is often a dark and messy place where hope finds itself faltering if you stay long enough. And if you need more cliche to take Covey seriously, let the Cheshire Cat’s words serve as warning: if you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.

That isn’t to say though that life is always clear cut and it will go your way just because you know what you want. You won’t be able to plan out every single detail. There will be derails but don’t be disheartened. Push on. Your pace will also be different from others as no two courses are the same and each one is completely unique. Someone may already be nearing the finish line whereas you’ve just started. Someone’s “The End” may be someone else’s “Once upon a time”. It’s hard not to, but try to not compare as much. If you do, use it as motivation or a reason to help but never as an excuse to drop and sulk. We are still in the middle of the book that is our life, maybe closer to the beginning or closer to the end of a chapter, but still generally in the middle.

Don’t rest in your laurels and don’t waddle in your failures. Let this year’s closing be a moment to reflect on the journey that was and recalibrate on the path that will still be. Recognize there are chapters to a book and that the beginning, middle, or end of one doesn’t mean the story is finished. You can’t rewrite the beginning, but the middle is where you can shape the ending – be it for this particular chapter or the whole book. 

Here’s to us putting a period on 2018 and crafting an amazing 2019!