THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

TIS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS.. and I’m in bed nursing a sore throat and the occasional bursts of headache. I’ve recently shared that December came in such a blur, and if my word wasn’t enough proof, I’m guessing my sickly state is. But that isn’t to say that I’m feeling Grinchly though. If I had it my way, I would’ve prolonged each moment and savoured this season more. I would’ve attended Simbang Gabi, done my Christmas shopping, and taken things slow.

It seems like everyone is in such a rush these days, holidays and otherwise, and if you aren’t, there is something wrong with you. Everything is instantaneous – work emails, status updates, online shopping (!), but it seems like we more or less are just reacting. My friends were gushing about mindfulness workshops lately and I feel its a good step in trying to calm the fuck down and regaining some peace of mind.

Speaking of peace of mind, I finally moved out this month and have earned myself an extra couple of hours from traffic! I’ve been wanting a place of my own for quite a while now, and it feels so surreal (and AWESOME) to be coming home to a pad, right smack in the center of my favorite Metro Manila city – Makati. I could only imagine what it would be like to finally buy my own place, but for now, renting is more than enough.  Especially since I’m still open to the idea of moving elsewhere. Preferably somewhere cold.

Speaking of somewhere cold, during my paracetamol-induced nap this afternoon, I dreamt I was making my way to the top of the Empire State Building to meet my friend, Ia. I freaked out when I saw she was all bundled up and I only had my grey hoodie on, to which dream Ia exclaimed, “I asked about your outerwear!” “I completely forgot that it was snowing!” I sighed in panic and thinking of my favorite (and only, haha) down coat hanging in the closet at home. I woke up soon enough. No snow for me, and I’m guessing none in the near future too.

I’ve been thinking about upcoming travel plans, and for the first time in a long while, I don’t have anything major forecasted. I mean, sure, rent now takes up the chunk that used to be allocated for travel, but I think in 2018, I’ll explore the Philippines more. I’m targeting Batanes, Siargao, and of course, El Nido. But man, would I still love to see snow again though. Or go to Hawaii. Or visit Australia. Let’s wait for the pull to kick in; and maybe, just maybe, I get to pull off a major trip this 2018.

Speaking of major things in 2018. Maybe I should stop planning major changes and instead go through everyday making purposeful decisions. Maybe I’ll also take cue from that bookshop lady in Liberal Arts and try not to read so much so that it won’t get in the way of living and creating. Or maybe I should just push my butt and practice more discipline and balance. Maybe I really should stop chasing things and thinking life would be better if so and so and realize that whether so and so were to happen, real life is now. And instead of putting so much pressure on myself to make it count, maybe I’ll ease up and enjoy the journey, and let life surprise me instead of adamantly insisting life play out the way I had always imagined.

A lot of maybe’s, a lot of hopes and wishes, but hey, tis the night before Christmas and anything can happen.

Merry Christmas, luvs! x